Hope is not in what I know.

In days of former precedence
Whenever i encountered a doubt,
a question,
an uncertainty,
i turned t optimism,
t hope, t god, t faith;
a positive anticipation-
a wish,
that the worst wouldn't happen.

Today,
Hope is no longer in what i know.
I can't find it in my head,
in my heart,
nor in my soul.

Too many a time i have been greeted with disappointment,
answered with apologies.
Disappointment-
it has struck me
once,
twice,
thrice.
like a never winning lottery ticket;
slowly even the chance of winning,
however minuscule it might be,
becomes... an impossibility.

You stop buying lottery.
You stop turning t optimism.
You stop believing.
and eventually, like me, now-

You stop hoping.