another day on earth.

late nights run long, inevitably the thoughts come running in. especially when you're alone, it always ends up with me questioning my own existence. my life has been on the downside, ever since secondary one, when i got posted t dunman high. personally i dont think it has anything t do with the school (but you never know), there are alot of students who are way better off than me ( i mean EVERY student is way better off than i am) but okay whatever. the point is, the discipline records, the retainment, everything. all has but become a part of my 'less than dramatic' life its starting t make me think im probably god's idea of a joke, which some people might second that by saying," but zhihao, you ARE a joke." so yeah, okay. anyway in that sense god has a really bad sense of humour. ><

then, yesterday i was at the hospital, and i saw many children. some suffering from schizophrenia, others, psychiatric disorders. i sort of felt lucky i was at least somewhat normal, with the whole functioning brain thing. and there was this particular girl who was talking t herself, "what is schizophrenia?..... i have schizophrenia!" and she started smiling away. uhh okay. right. then again, according t my observations these spastic children are seemingly happier. is this what they call, ignorance is bliss?

oh well. in any case the world's a shithole, and we're all in it.