My life is hanging on a thread- please don't snap it for me.

Yes, the exams are over. But the worst, is not.
Yes, papers are laid aside. But my worries, they're not.
T feel stupendously wonderful, absolved with contentment, with jubilation, with delectation- of the things I'm not.
I know, it is no longer a possibility for a TA3 promotion, for mainstream's the only plausible direction; math was a complete failure. Even that does not deny me the liberation of these deadlocks; it is the ambiguity of the latter that scares me most. The uncertainty of those stacked reincarnations that lay amidst it's others- our examination scripts.
Will i even get into the J1 cohort? If i don't, what then?
I have invested adequate, if not ample effort, into the End Of Years, of which i derive minimal comfort and sporadically-bestowed praise from the mother. Effort involved in a transfiguration t knowledge sufficient, but practice, otherwise. I have come t and i must, admit therefore- I have yet t give my all. This could be the beginning, of a future I've never thought of arriving (for the lack of a better word) at. A future, in very much a literal sense, full of shit. And nothingness.

And for tonight only, I turn t pessimism.

Perhaps.