melancholy.

heyyy. y'all. its past twelve; a monday, officially. i decided to blog, to make it like a regular sort of thing. yeah. sighs. solitude. what a feeling.

sitting down here, im shrouded by darkness, except for the light reflecting off the monitor screen. and i wonder, if im really alone. everyone's asleep, yet im awake, in front of my computer. typing this post. i feel philosophical, but i aint thinking straight.. i cant, at least. its either theres too many thoughts in my mind, or im just too tired. listening to an emotional song. and my mood, kinda sad. but the thing is, i like that feeling. yeah, surprisingly, i do. it lets me feel of an urge to do smthing; smthing different. but its a pity, i normally sleep this feeling off. and when i wake up, its gone. and i'll be feeling me, again. i guess its gonna be the same, tonight.

ha, people say it'll be better to get things off ur chest. even i, tell that to my frens. but i guess if it happens to you, it wouldnt be that easy. i wonder if shouting from some place high helps, ive never tried... it probably does, the fact its sorta a venting method. ahh fuck. im answering my own questions. i tnk i dont make much sense do i. haha.

feelings, i wonder how would we be, without them.

i tnk im just gonna go sleep. fucking tired. this shall be one hella of a short post.
and a lousy one, i know.

i just hope to survive school. and if possible, sneak in a few smiles of my own. genuine, ones.

rain o' rain

ahh heyy people. i was going through my old files today and i chanced upon smthing i had wrote awhile back. yeah i might just as well share it with everyone here. it aint shakespeare for sure, but hey, at least it reflects my thoughts. so... this is how it goes,

Rain o’ rain.
What do I see inside of me.
A man, a knight with dignity.
Living a life of distraught,
As meanings in life comes to a halt.

Looking around attentively,
I see nothing less than hypocrisy.
colleagues with smiles on their face,
bootlicking the boss, a mere disgrace.

Standing up I shouted out loud,
“I want freedom and I want to get out!
To run from this horrible place,” I say,
Away from the pressure I face everyday.

Packing my bags I no longer had to stay,
My heart felt light, happy and gay.
Out of the building into the rain,
Dancing with my briefcase as though I’m insane.

The rain kept falling down,
With drops of water hitting the ground.
Bringing life upon the land,
Into the pastures, into the sand.

My shirt was drenched, my face was wet,
But I didn’t care, I felt so glad.
But then again, was I happy or sad?
What about the family I had?

Rain o’ rain.
Boon or bane.

howdy, im back. =)

heyy all you people out there. haha guess what. its 10th of january. and im fucking back. yes, i am. =)

its been an interesting holiday. ups, downs. past aside, lets talk about now. holy mama, im 16 this year. and im in ip. year one. xD yes, imma retained student. hey thats not something to be proud of, but who cares. its a god damn fact. haha shit i shall ATTEMPT to not use coarse language around here. aye. i thought everyone would be like, hey u loser. how's life BACK in year one? or you know, stuff of the sort. haha but hey, its either everyone's been real nice or i havent got any snide remarks, yet.

im sorta happy im retained too, actually. the year ones are nice, small people. lol. and ALL of them are younger than me. which means, heck the birthday list. get me a bouquet of roses. hahaa. go figure. and its like, a chance for me to relearn everything i have lost last year. i think this time it'll be alot easier. haha.

cmon ppl, its NOT a sad thing. not anymore, anyway. xD



but i've got to know alot of people during these few months, and im glad i did. haha for example, lau zi hui. (yes, so honoured ur name is mentioned on my first post after 2 months?) lol. shes been quite sad lately, stuff which i might not be able to disclose, unfortunately. but hey, theres always me around to bright up the day. haha. and theres the year ones... lala orientation was boringly fun. what a great term, i know.

man. and i think i need a freaking ego boost. somebody say smthing! wth this is one shit post. dont wry guys, my blogging skills will get better, afterall, its been 2 months.

and zihui, cheer up yeah. =)